Support Group Offers Hope for Pet Loss Survivors

The loss of a loved one can cause emotional turmoil, and can even lead to depression. But what if the loved one was furry and walked on four paws? Is the loss less significant?

For many people, the answer to that question is "no." But until recently, the Lehigh Valley was without an organized support group for individuals who are dealing with grief from the loss of a pet.

That changed with the founding of Wings.

Veterinary surgeon Dr. Phil Zeltzman, who helped start the bereavement support group for pet owners, says he wanted local residents to have access to a resource that's been available in many metropolitan areas for some time.

"When people lose a pet, it's a big deal," he said. "I'm talking about most pet owners."

Zeltzman explained that the loss of pet is different from the loss of a human family member or friend, because there isn't always the same level of compassionate response--or time to mourn the loss--offered by the community.

"If we lose a family member we can take time off work and there's a whole ceremony. There's a whole bunch of things that naturally happen...but with pets, that's it," he said.

Joanne Krug, Ph.D., a psychologist in private practice who specializes in trauma and grief, leads one of the two Wings support groups currently meeting in the Lehigh Valley.

Her group of up to five individuals meets on the second and fourth Wednesday of each month from 6:30 to 8pm at her office at 3005 Brodhead Road in Bethlehem Township.

The group is small, she said, which allows for many opportunities to talk and listen.

Members try not to be judgmental, and everyone is encouraged to contribute, "but only as much as they feel comfortable," Krug said.

She added that she's a pet lover herself, and has owned horses, cats, dogs, guinea pigs and birds over the years.

Maureen A. Beilman, M.Ed., a licensed professional counselor, leads the other Wings support group, which meets the third Monday of each month from 6:30 to 8pm at Cedar Crest Bible Fellowship Church (no affiliation), 1151 S. Cedar Crest Blvd., in Salisbury Township.

Beilman said she was "surprised" that there were so few options available to people dealing with the loss of a pet when she was first approached by Zeltzman about leading a group.

"This gap in service was what inspired me to lead this group, as well as my love and personal understanding of what it means to have the love and loyalty of a pet," she said.

Beilman, who currently owns a cat and a dog, observed that expressing feelings about the death of a pet "still has a certain stigma attached to it," and said common responses to grief over the loss of an animal companion can be unintentionally hurtful.

Telling someone to "just get over it" or that "it's only an animal" is not helpful, and that's another reason the support group exists, she explained, adding that "group members are comforted by others who understand the depth of their grief, and leave feeling validated."

Beilman also said she's been surprised that relatively few veteranarians will routinely recommend participation in a support group to their clients, even if one is available.

For more information about Wings, Beilman can be contacted at 610-437-6660 and Krug can be contacted at 610-865-0110.

Participation in the groups is free, but donations are appreciated.

For anyone unsure about attending a Wings meeting, "the first step is to try it out," Zeltzman said.

Ultimately, the goal of everyone involved with Wings is to help grieving pet owners "feel better, quicker" through "support, understanding and help," he added.