So Many Chairs, So Little Time (to Sit)

The chairperson is the one who heads the organization or committee, but there's another kind of chair person. I actually counted the chairs under our roof the other day and came up with an inventory of 51. I hasten to say that these are not all functional. Four are in the attic awaiting repair, refinishing or just an abundance of TLC. One is undergoing a facelift in the basement. Half a dozen are folding chairs pressed into service on rare occasions, but all 51 are bona fide chairs--not benches, stools or loveseats. You'd think the residents (two) of the house spend a lot of time sitting! Au contraire! Chairpersons have to busy themselves curating the collection. There are chair rungs to be re-glued, chair seats to be re-caned, upholstery to be cleaned, and, in the case of the lawn chairs, bird droppings to be washed off. Of all our menagerie of chairs the most unique, as well as the butt of ongoing jokes, is the "stocking chair." Many years ago, inspired by a how-to project in a women's magazine, I replaced the torn seat & back of a porch chair with old nylon stockings woven around the metal chair frame. The result certainly merits the derision it has received. It is such an oddity, we consider it a museum piece! Is it comfortable? Hardly, but who has time to sit anyway? Chairpersons are too busy overseeing the collection!