Health & Fitness
Prayers to the Ectoplasmistic Flying Tree Lizard of Stonehenge
Wiggy's Words of Wisdom is a weekly blog based on humorous philosophical commentary written by someone who knows what goes into the making of scrapple and still eats it.
It seems like every time I expunge commentary on a topic based upon something totally ridiculous, three out of four times it happens to somehow involve cats, pagan magic, atheistic celebrations, left-handed people or some type of cross between Dungeons and Dragons and a Star Trek convention. Not to disappoint, this time I’ve hit the mother lode.
I often use the phrase “Who comes up with this stuff?” to describe the absurdity of some of humanity’s intellectually over-stimulated. I can finally answer that question.
Did you know Feb. 20 is “Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day?” What moron would come up with a holiday like Hoodie-Hoo Day, you ask? First let’s start with answering the burning question of “What the heck is Hoodie-Hoo Day?”
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Every Feb. 20, on this winter day, people are supposed to go out at noon, wave their hands over their heads and chant "Hoodie-Hoo." No, this isn’t some type of Pagan fertility ritual or prayer to some extinct mystical penta-appendaged creature. Apparently, it’s a way to chase away winter and bring in spring one month sooner. Since everyone in the northern hemisphere is sick and tired of dreary gray winter days by mid-February, it’s a way to relieve the symptoms of those afflicted with cabin fever. Although, I thought it was the job of that oversized rodent named Punxsutawney Phil, who comes out 18 days earlier on Groundhog Day.
Hoodie-Hoo Day is brought to you courtesy of an “imaginative” couple from Annville, Pa., along with other holidays like “Answer Your Cats’ Questions Day,” “Happy Mew Year for Cats Day” and “What if Cats & Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day.” Do you see a pattern here?
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So if you happen to be reading this on Feb. 20, at noon, go out in front of your office building, home, restaurant or wherever you may be, put your hands over your head and pray to the Ectoplasmistic Flying Tree Lizard of Stonehenge…HOODIE-HOO, HOODIE HOO, HOODIE-HOO. It may not drive away winter, but it’s sure to drive away everyone else.
Marc “Wiggy” Kovacs - Harbinger of Heathenistic Holidays
