I have officially entered a new phase in parenting: preparing for college, step one. This is a time when the family vacation is planned around the college visit, or in our case, is the college visit.
I have been working with other people’s children helping them with the college search, visit, and application process for 20 years. This time is different, I am working with my own daughter.
As an educational consultant, I often start my first session explaining to parents that I am here to help their child and make the process go more smoothly. I encourage parents to remember that this choice needs to be what their child wants and try to get the student to be open about their interests and preferences.In this situation, I am the parent. I have to remind myself of all the things I have been telling parents and students all these years, it is my daughter’s time to explore what she feels is most important. She needs to live with her decision for four years, so it needs to be a good fit for her. It is also a chance to gain insight into what is most important to her, something I think I know, but could always use a refresher.
As we prepare for the college visit, I think of all my advice and make the time to sit down together and go over the basics of what she should be looking for during the visits. It would be easy for me to meet with the professors and admissions representatives and ask lots of pertinent questions. But this isn’t about me, and the questions need to come from my daughter this time. So I will go over the list of potential questions that I have developed for my clients and students, ask her about her interests, and then prepare myself to sit back and watch her take the next step.
This will be an interesting transition going from the professional to the parent. My daughter trusts that I know what I am talking about, I haven’t steered her wrong yet. But I also know that often teenagers block out their parents’ advice while listening to the same advice from other trusted adults.
For those of you sharing these experiences with your own children, sit back and enjoy the process. This is a wonderful time to get to know your child better. In just a few short years they will be moving out and on to their next phase: college.I have to say this will be an interesting experience for both of us. Time to hit the road…
