Why Do We Choose To Make Life Harder Then It Is?

Most of us already have heard and are aware that we are our own worst enemy. We are the ones who choose to believe what we want, judge, focus on negativity, get involved in drama, hold onto grudges and fears, worry, place blame, get angry, gossip, be selfish, and make choices that create our future in a not so positive way.

In my own personal experience when I lacked self-love I did focus on other people's problems. It was so much easier than dealing with my own. What I found out was that not dealing with my own problems was only making them grow. And of course there is that factor that when we gossip and get involved in drama, it becomes our way of life, a negative way of life. And although I was a huge giver, because I was so empty inside, I was taken advantage of and hurt that my efforts of selflessness were not enough to fulfill my spirit.

Our past experiences have a lot to do with our mindset, so does our upbringing and those who have raised us. Now we can sit here and choose to keep blaming the past and people involved or we can start learning how to forgive and heal from it. 

Part of what I believe is a huge problem for most people is that they continue to take things personally. This was HUGE for me. And, it seems like we do it more so when we lack self-love and lack self-esteem. Although it seems impossible to not allow the influence of others bring us down or make us feel like we made a mistake, it isn't. It takes lots of practice. It also takes getting rid of that thought that when we live being true to ourselves that it is selfish. In reality we are here to live our own lives. We are not to be concerned with what others do, think or say. And when we can realize that, life is so much easier and more fulfilling. 

Think of it this way, we are all on one huge planet but we all have our own path. Yes people cross paths but we are always on our own path of life. We are set out on a journey, our own journey. You cannot expect to understand other people's journey just as they are not going to understand yours. That is part of the lesson. My advice, stay on your path loving whoever crosses it. Whatever situation or person comes your way, deal with it in a positive manner. If you feel you can't, give it to God. As long as you are doing the best that you can and love yourself from the inside out, taking things personally won't even be an issue for you. If you struggle with this, there are many books out there including; The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, my personal favorite. 

There is also the law of attraction. I won't go into much detail here since it is a whole other blog entry. But what I will touch on is that what we think, we attract. You are creating your experiences with your thoughts. Everyone is aware of that phrase, "what you give is what you get" right? It is just like that. If you think or act negatively, you are creating more negative situations and experiences for yourself. The great news is that it also works the other way. When you focus on the positive and be grateful for everything, you bring more positive experiences and blessings into your life. So why make it hard on yourself by having a negative mindset? Some people think if they wish harm on others, spread rumors, hold onto grudges and are nasty that they are actually causing harm on the person they are having an issue with. However it is the opposite. There is an awesome quote that says, "Not forgiving someone is like allowing them to live rent free in your head." Yep. The other person is living their life not even thinking about the issues you have with them. Why do that to yourself? Forgiveness is such an important aspect of life. It is an important task in order to move forward on your journey. I have forgiven everyone and every experience. Don't get me wrong, it took time. But I feel free now and I do realize it was part of my journey. And boy did I learn some hard lessons, all in which I am thankful for. 

Instead of banging your head against the wall start writing out how you want your life to go. Start forgiving, start loving yourself, release the past (it is so over and done with), and try to find the lesson in each experience. Each lesson makes us stronger and builds character (thanks for that mom). One suggestion which really helped me was to write in a gratitude journal every night before bed. And instead of writing the 10 things that were suggested, I wrote until my hand was tired. Life changed almost instantly because my mindset was on all that I was grateful for. 

Two other resources that will help you are: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and The Gift of Forgiveness A Magical Encounter with Don Miguel Ruiz by Olivier Clerc.

Feel free to join me and over 12,400 fans on my inspirational page on facebook called Happy Inspirational Scrappin! Life is meant to be enjoyed. Let's start getting out of our own way and enjoy it!

Positive thoughts always!
Amy