About a year ago I read the book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It made me understand a lot about what ego really is. It took me back to the days where the cartoons would show an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. And it makes me laugh remembering how many cartoon characters listened to the devil rather than the angel. The devil represents ego (some say ego stands for Edge God Out), and the angel represents our Higher Self. Like the cartoon, most of us listen to our ego and cannot even hear our Higher Self.
Let me explain what our ego is. First of all you can never get rid of it and everyone has one. Some just have a much larger ego than others. Our ego is what causes us to put ourselves down, have regrets, fears, guilt, resentment, lack of self-love, hatred, anger, frustration, be conceited and selfish, and makes us; need attention, doubt, gossip, and engage in drama. The ego causes us to live in the past as well as live in the future but never in the present moment.
Our Higher Self only ever speaks to us out of love and compassion. It sees the best in everyone and in every situation. Our Higher Self lives for each moment. It is positive and accepting of everything. Our Higher Self is selfless and forgiving. It never lacks love or self-respect.
When the ego creeps up it is only because it needs to be fed. And we feed our ego by engaging in negative, destructive, and addictive behavior. Some which include; picking a fight with someone, putting someone or ourselves down, smoking cigarettes, over or under eating, hoarding, doing drugs or alcohol, over spending, spreading rumors, holding onto grudges, biting our nails, getting into abusive relationships, acting out in need of attention, only thinking of ourselves, and so on. It also causes us to have repetitive thoughts, usually negative. You will know when you hear that negative voice in your head which is putting yourself down or going over and over an argument you just had or a decision you made that you think may have been a mistake, etc. Ego loves to talk. And, if we walked around actually saying everything that went on in our heads, people would have us put in a padded cell. LOL!
Once we feed our ego, it feels better and it is quiet but only for a while. It can be quiet for a few hours, a day, a week, a few months, but it is always there. What we can do to control it is be aware. Once we are aware we can tell our ego to be silent. My mom came up with a great way to start her day. My mom will say before even getting out of bed, "Ego suppress, Holy Spirit come in." Now this doesn't mean the ego will be silent all day but this is something we can say every time it decides to make an appearance.
Our Higher Self can be heard loud and clear when we start meditating and learning to control our thoughts. Meditation isn't just sitting in silence or listening to a person walk you through a meadow. Meditation can also be achieved when we exercise, paint, sew, go fishing, or when we engage in any activity that we are so focused on and our minds are quiet.
Now someone else can flair up our ego by using their ego. They can pick a fight with us, put us down, gossip about us, etc. Our response is what will show us if we are using our ego or Higher Self. This is where silence is golden, especially if we know we are going to respond in a negative way. In order to not feed your ego, you must walk away or speak only with love, the love that our Higher Self projects.
Unfortunately we have all learned egoistic behavior. And with the negativity in the world it seems harder to hear our Higher Self and to silence the ego. It seems easier to hear and listen to what the ego wants because it is so strong and has a need for more. Giving into ego does seem like the fastest and easiest way to relieve ourselves of pain and frustration. It also makes us feel justified. The Higher Self never needs to be justified. Ego is stronger on the days we are tired, stressed, emotionally drained or having hormonal imbalances.
I wish I could sit here and say that I have been able to keep my ego at bay all the time. But like I said before, we can never get rid of it. Mine is under more control because I make myself aware of it. Staying way from drama, negative people, the news, giving of myself, and engaging in meditation, affirmations and love of myself, has greatly improved my ability to control it. But I must continue to practice every single day.
When hear someone judging another or needing attention, when I see someone in an abusive relationship, bullying, or engaged in any egoistic behavior I remind myself that they are lacking self-love and that this is their ego, not their Higher Self. I send them love and light in hopes that they learn how to control their ego and learn to love themselves. Remembering that ego is selfish and our Higher Self is selfless. Most people don't know what they do so use your Higher Self and pray for them. Your ego will just want to focus on their seemingly bad behavior and put them down too. Love and light my friends. It works and it doesn't feed our ego.
God bless!
Amy
